MEN AND WOMEN ARE EQUAL IN A RELATIONSHIP

Wednesday 3rd November, 2010

Godfrey Ombogo thinks that women are applying double standards in their treatment of men

I read Achieng’ Omondi’s article in the last week’s Monday issue of Newsround titled, “WOMAN CONNED SH. 90,OOO BY GHOST LOVER” with keen interest. After one week of soul searching and in-depth thinking, I have been provoked into reacting to some of the ideas in the piece. The ideas contained have raised more questions to me than answers. I therefore seek to find these answers from you, readers.
To begin with, while I agree with her that the duped behaved weirdly by sending a large sum of money in a rush, is it not erroneous for the writer to expect the modern woman to wait for a man the way our “mothers did”? What has happened that these days women seduce men? For such women, is it that they are impatient or they have waited for what Achieng calls “prince charming” all their life to no avail?
the man should take the lead by paying the bill in their first date, subsequently, the woman should “help”
In my own opinion, Achieng’ is right in her article when she tells the ladies, “Let a man come for you”. Don’t you think it is more cherishing when a man walks up to a lady and wins her heart after a fairly long struggle than the roles being reversed? I believe this has nothing to do with primitiveness or modernity. But look at Achieng’s budget with the sh. 90, 000. “I can go spoil myself in a boutique with about 20k, buy 4 pairs of boots at just 10k, get a full body massage, pedicure, manicure and hairdo at another 10k, and take a trip down coast with the remaining 50k...” Surely, isn’t this selfishness? Where is the man considered here or did she assume she was single? I doubt. This is where my main problem is.
Between a man and his woman, who should treat the other? Look at Achieng’s view “…don’t take him out not unless you’re splitting the bill…” The bible records, “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help [woman]”. (Genesis 2:18, KJV). I therefore believe that being the head of the house; the man should take the lead by paying the bill in their first date. Subsequently, the woman should “help” the man pay such bills as rent, electricity, school fees for the children, among many other expenses to be incurred by the couple. Contrary to this, the Kenyan modern woman has perfected the act of being egocentrically dependent on the man while at the same time fighting for equality. Who is fooling who here?
For men only, don’t let your woman be solely dependent on you. Treat her when you can and when you cannot let her do it, let it be an exchange. It is a common belief that you can make your woman what you want her to be and therefore I agree with Susan, my friend, who once told me, “You relationship is what you make it to be”.
(The writer is a fourth year in the school of information Sciences And Managing editor of Newsround)
ombogo.jarachar@gmail.com